Dipping into some of the millions of letters currently loosening the seams of my semi-fictitious Eclectic Boogaloo mailbag, I detect a groundswell of opinion that I haven’t been updating “things” as much as I could have been. A sample letter comes from the controversial anger therapist and life coach, Angus Panels (author of “Men Are From Mars, Women are from Venus, I Am Far From F*ckin' Happy With You: Using A Bewilderingly Aggressive Approach To Achieve Your Heart’s Desires”. Angus says: Dear Mr so-called “Eclectic” “Boogaloo”. If you do not update your site more regularly, I will.......” (I can’t read the rest of it because the page is smeared with blood. Another letter simply describes me as “a dead man blogging”.
Anyway, to wit, therefore and hencesoforth, the deal is that from now on I shall be updating on a semi-irregular basis. To be honest, basically what happened was that I broke both my arms and wrists and collar bones attempting to ride a vintage motorcycle and sidecar round a “wall of death” with a lion in the passenger seat. I fell out and then the lion ate my laptop, so I handed in my last update last week – you mean you didn’t get it? Jesus wept – the Royal Mail/Hotmail/courier company/18th Century US Postal Service runner/Pigeon is so unreliable these days. Infinity apologies.
In the meantime, here is a picture of a jazz band, who for reasons best known to themselves, have chosen to be photographed in front of a giant montage of vegetables.